


Owning Up

by EscapingReality51



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Apologies, Episode 15th November 2016, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Relationship Discussions, Robert messed up, semi fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-08-31 09:40:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8573404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EscapingReality51/pseuds/EscapingReality51
Summary: What I imagine needs to happen between Robert and Aaron. Just a short fic, don't know if there'll be more, but it only makes sense if Robert knows he messed up and apologises. First fic, couldn't get this idea out of my head. Hope you like it!





	1. Chapter 1

Robert sat in the back room of the pub, with a glass of whiskey in his hands, waiting. Rebecca’s kiss was going through his head, over and over, and he winced at the thought of her lips on his. He could see that he was in over his head, but how much had only just become clear. How could he have let that happen? He had been carried away by a drink too many, and memories of him and Rebecca when he was still with Chrissie. He was mentally kicking himself, wondering if his actions had been fueled more by the alcohol, his mother’s anniversary, or his desire to stay ahead of the Whites. He was nursing his whiskey, and his guilt, when Aaron came home. 

He walked in the back room with a pint, and sat down next to Robert. They both stayed silent for a while, neither wanting to be the one to break the silence. Finally, Robert pulled himself together, wanting to explain and prevent Aaron finding out about the kiss from Rebecca.

“Aaron, something…”

“No, wait.” Aaron interrupted, “I just... I know I should’ve reacted differently when you told me about your mum’s anniversary, and I don’t know anything about flowers, but if you want, I’ll go with you and get some for her. We can give them to her, together.”

Robert felt himself getting teary-eyed, he was dumbfounded. He definitely hadn’t expected that after what he witnessed at the café. “Um… yeah, that would… that would be great, Aaron. Thank you.” He caught his eye, and Aaron gave one of his slight smiles, which tugged at one side of his mouth, but reached his eyes.

“...and I know what I said about the Whites was because I saw you two getting closer, but I’m just trying to look out for ya. I don’t trust them, especially not Rebecca, and I don’t want to see Diane, Vic or Andy worse off for it.” Aaron finished off.

“I know, and...you might be right in not trusting them.” Robert said.

“What? Did something happen?” Aaron asked, confusion clear on his face.

“Sort of…” Robert said, setting down the whiskey glass and turning towards Aaron. “I… I was sitting with Rebecca earlier, talking about her family and…”

“Yeah, I know, I saw ya.”

“No, I mean.. She came back here, and we were sitting and talking.” Aaron noticed the empty whiskey glass by the sink, and his expression darkened. He looked up at Robert, indicating for him to continue, clearly annoyed. “We were talking about her family, and Chrissie, and stuff that happened when we were together four years ago… and she kissed me.” 

“She what?” Aaron said, looking more angry than hurt. “She came on to you again?” 

“Yeah, she leaned in and kissed me, and I pushed her away…” Robert said, trailing off on the last word, not wanting to lie, but fearing Aaron’s reaction.

“You pushed her away?” Aaron stated skeptically. “How quickly did you push her away? I mean, how far did she get with ya?” 

“It happened for like, two seconds Aaron. I was surprised, I hadn’t expected it. She caught me off guard, and I didn’t react immediately.”

“Right, because you want to keep her on your good side. Show her she still has a chance?” Aaron placed his pint on the coffee table, and got up forcefully. “I come back here, apologising for being a muppet earlier, and you’re telling me she snogged ya?”

“She didn’t, I swear! I didn’t let it get that far…” 

“You enjoyed it, didn’t ya? The flirting, the attention...” Aaron looked down at him, waiting for his response. When none came, he drew in a sharp breath. “Get out.”

“What?” Robert looked up at him, seeing tears in his eyes.

“I said, get out.” Aaron repeated louder than before, and clenched his fist. “I thought you were done with this, with her, but you’re not. You keep going back to her, talking, holding her hand, and you’ve kissed twice. I can’t do this... if you stay much longer, I’m going to punch ya. Get out.” 

Robert got up. “Aaron, I want you, I swear, I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me if I didn’t. I got caught up in the moment, but I don’t want her. I should never have invited her in, but I need her on our side if we’re going to get Andy out. I reacted too slowly, I didn’t want her to get angry and stop helping us.. She’s useful to us!” 

“Then the question is, how far are you willing to go to keep her on your good side, eh? Next time, she might want more, and how do I know you’re going to stop her?” Aaron’s tears were flowing freely now, and it hurt to know that he had caused it. “I… I can’t look at you right now, Robert, please… Just go”

“I’ll stay at Vic’s tonight, but we need to talk about this. You can trust me, I’ve been an idiot… it was a mistake, and I’ll stay away from her, I promise. I don’t want to mess this up, Aaron. Please.” Robert pleaded, trying to take Aaron’s hand. He was shrugged off, and when Aaron looked up at him he stared straight at him, and wiped his tears on his sleeve. 

“I’ll call ya.” Aaron said, and walked upstairs, slamming the door and leaving Robert alone with his whiskey, and his thoughts. He gathered his things, and, with a glance back at the room, walked slowly towards Keepers cottage.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't get this fic out of my head, so I decided to try and continue. I haven't done anything like this in a while, but I hope you like it!

Robert woke up with a splitting headache on Vic’s couch, his jacket giving him some warmth as a blanket across his chest. When he had arrived last night, all he did was knock back drink after drink, wallowing in his own self-pity and anger. He was glad that even though Vic and Adam had moved in at the farm, his key still worked. He couldn’t imagine having to get through Vic's questions and Adam's face at the farm. Immediately, he had once again turned to whiskey, and time had seemed to stand still whilst he sat on the couch, going through the day over and over again. He couldn’t decide what had gone wrong, and what he was going to do. The fact that it was his Mum’s anniversary just made it that much worse.

 

“How are you feeling?” Robert turned his head and saw Victoria standing in the doorway to the kitchen still wearing her coat. She looked at him expectantly, but Robert got up, and walked into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea instead of answering. Victoria walked in behind him, and sat down at the kitchen table.

 

“Rubbish.” He said, avoiding her gaze. “What are you doing here?”

 

“Aaron called Adam last night, and I wanted to check if you had slept here.” She paused and gave him a once-over, noticing the rumpled clothes and the red eyes, drawing the logical conclusion that he had indeed slept on the couch. “What happened Robert?” She looked up at him, and took her coat off. Robert groaned internally, knowing this might take a while.

 

“I... “ he sighed, and stared at the mug he had taken down. He hated this, her knowing that he had messed up, again. He hated that this was where he had ended up on this already shit morning. “Something happened… and now Aaron won’t look at me.”

 

She looked at him, and waited. When no other reply came, she shook her head. “Fine, Robert, don’t tell me, but I know you love Aaron. I thought you wanted this. I thought you knew that he was what you wanted. How can you have messed up already?”

 

“Vic, don’t. I love him, I know I do… I messed up, and I don’t know how to fix it. He doesn’t want to see me.” Robert sighed, the sound of the water boiling not helping his hangover. “He is what I want. Marrying Aaron is what I want - I just hope he still wants it all too.”

 

“Then make him understand that. Fix this, Robert. I’ve never seen you happier than these past months with him, so do yourself a favour, and own up to what you’ve done.” She got up, and patted him on the back. “Let me know if you want to talk about it. I need to get to work. When are you planning on going to see Mum?”

 

“I don’t know…” he put the teabag in the mug, and poured water over it. “Aaron said he’d go with me, but that was before... he’s probably not joining me. When are you going?”

 

“I’ll go later, with some flowers… call me, Rob, if you need me.” she took her coat, and walked out of the door. 

\-------

Robert took a shower, grateful for the fact that the water still worked. He didn’t want to have to go back to the pub, knowing that he wasn’t welcome. He would have to do with the smell of alcohol that lingered on his clothes. He was sitting at the kitchen table, nursing his hangover and thinking. About Rebecca kissing him, and about Aaron thinking he didn't want him anymore. It hurt. He missed Aaron, and the thought of him angry and doubting their love was like a hole in his chest. His self-loathing was growing, when he was interrupted by his phone ringing. It was Aaron. He picked up the phone, longing to hear his voice.

 

“Aaron?” he said tentatively.

 

“When do you want to go?” Aaron replied, sounding a bit worse for wear.

 

“You what?”

 

“I said I’d go with you to your Mum’s grave. Not going back on my promise. When do you want to go?” Aaron said, sounding reluctant but determined.

 

“Right.. Meet me at the shop in 20?”

 

“Sure.” Aaron hung up, leaving Robert to stare at his phone. Why would Aaron want to do this for him after their conversation yesterday? It made it all hurt more; Aaron was too good for him. He definitely hadn’t expected him to support him after telling him about Rebecca, but of course he would. Wishing he had more suitable clothes, he got his jacket on, and walked out of the door. 

 

\-----

 

The shop was just down the road, and Robert waited a while before Aaron showed. He didn’t want to risk missing him. He was looking around when he noticed Aaron walking down the road, hands in his down jacket pockets, hood up, with a determined look on his face. Why does he have to look so good? was all Robert could think as he slowly came closer. 

 

“Hi.” Robert said, trying to gauge Aaron’s reaction.

 

“Hi.” Aaron barely whispered, not meeting Robert eye. “Flowers?”

 

“Right, yeah. Didn’t know which ones to get…” he admitted, looking at the many bouquets displayed outside the flower shop. “I can’t… remember what she liked.”

 

Aaron walked over, and picked up a small bouquet of white lilies. He gestured for Robert to take them, their hands briefly touching as Robert took the bouquet in his hands. They ignored it.

 

“Thanks.” 

 

When the flowers were bought, they headed to the cemetery in silence. They walked apart from one another, setting both a physical and a mental distance between them. Aaron's eyes seemed to never waiver from the destination, and Robert tried to focus as much as he could on the flowers in his hand. They reached her headstone, and stopped. Robert could feel tears, and the flowers became heavy in his hands. He saw Aaron standing a bit back, giving him space. He knelt down, and placed them at her headstone. 

 

“Hi, Mum.” he said quietly, placing his hand over her name. “Vic’s going to be here later, but these flowers are from Andy, too. I haven’t heard from him today, but I know he’d be here if he could. This year, we might not even have gotten into a fight.” the thought brought a smile to his lips, and tears rolled down his cheek. “I miss you, Mum… every day. I’ll come back here, soon, and we can catch up. I have so much to tell you.” He let his tears fall freely now, thankful that Aaron was standing some way off. “I know I’m not always the person you wanted me to be. I know I make mistakes. I promise, I’ll try to get myself together.” He whispered, before kissing his fingers and placing them on the top of the stone tablet. 

 

He got up, tried his cheeks, and turned back to see Aaron, silently crying. “Aaron…” he walked over to him, and reached out to touch him, comfort him in any way. Aaron stopped him.

 

“Don’t, Robert.” Aaron paused, looking down at their shoes. “I wish I could’ve known her.” he indicated to the grave behind them.

 

“Me too.” Robert said, looking at Aaron’s tear stricken face, and feeling something break inside of him. This was it, wasn’t it? Aaron had gone with him because he wanted to end this as soon as he could. “Aaron, please don’t do this today. I… I can’t stand the thought of losing you today…”

 

“What?” Aaron looked up at him, absentmindedly playing with his engagement ring. “You want me to end this?”

 

“Isn’t that what you’re here for? Get rid of me…”

 

“No, Robert. I…” He hesitated, and Robert could see him struggling to make himself clear. “I had one too many last night, and… when I woke up, I felt awful. I missed ya. Then I got mad, because I hate that I missed ya, hate that I wanted you there after what you did.” Robert looked down, ashamed. “I’m angry, Robert. Doesn’t mean I don’t love ya.”

 

Roberts eyes snapped up at that. “You… still love me? After all this, everything I’ve done?” 

 

“Yeah, you idiot.” Robert wanted to embrace him, but Aaron stopped him again, placing his hands between them. “Doesn’t mean I forgive ya. We need to talk… about it all. I need to know what was going through your head… and if you still want me. I hurts, thinking about her kissing you.” Aaron clenched his fist, his knuckles whitening. 

“Tell me what to do Aaron, let me make this up to you. Please.” 

 

“I… I need to clear my head, I… come by the pub later?” he said, looking up and seeing the hope on Robert’s face.

 

“Yes, I… I will. I’ll text ya.” 

 

Aaron gave him a small smile, and walked away. Robert followed him with his eyes until he was out of sight, knowing that there was no person in the world who made him feel as much as Aaron did. He knew he was going to make this better. He just needed to figure out how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe so many people have read this! Leave kudos and comments, please, I love to hear from you. You can find me on tumblr @ escapingreality51 :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert tries to make amends.

_Can we talk? I’m outside the pub._

Robert pressed send, and seated himself on one of the benches outside the Woolpack. He didn’t want to go inside and risk meeting Chas - Aaron's foul mood would have alerted her, and her anger was more than he could bear. The weather was cold but crisp, the sun sending some heat through the autumn air, warming Robert’s face while he waited. Willing his nerves away, Robert focused on his breathing, watching the condensation formed with each breath dissipate. His head was still pounding and the tell-tale signs of a hangover affecting him. The fresh air and heat were helping, when he was pulled out of his reverie by the sound of footsteps, the sun stinging his sensitive eyes as he opened them. Victoria slid the door open and slipped out of the pub, putting her coat on over her chef’s uniform. She spotted him and walked over to his bench, sitting down next to him. 

“Right, I’ve only got 10 minutes, Marlon is out today. What’s up?” 

Robert braced himself. Victoria was an amazing sister, but she judged him harshly. He took a deep breath, rubbing his hands together for warmth.

“Rebecca kissed me yesterday.” 

“Robert!” She made to continue, but he put his hand up to stop her.

“I told Aaron as soon as I saw him. Understandably, he isn’t too happy with me right now. I kissed her and I shouldn’t’ve - she caught me off guard, and I need her help freeing Andy, so I made the wrong decision and didn’t back off immediately. Aaron guessed as much, and is having a hard time looking at me at the moment. I don't really know how to convince him otherwise.” He sighed, and ran his hands over his face. “I may have been confused about what I wanted in the past, but I’m sure now. I don't want anyone else.” 

Vic stared at him, her eyes accusatory. “Did she kiss you, or you kiss her?” 

“She kissed me." After several drinks, they had been leaning in to each other, reminiscing, and suddenly, he had felt her lips pressed against his. He shook his head at the memory. "I was surprised and left it too long to push her away. It was a mistake, but I had had a few and didn’t react fast enough.” he clarified, seeing her anger lessen somewhat.

Vic bit back her retort, seeing the regret in Robert’s eyes. She knew that Aaron was good for him, but for the first time she really saw evidence of how Aaron made Robert want to be better. It was impossible not to notice the bags under his eyes, his nervous demeanor - she had never seen him this anxious before. She took her hands out of her pocket, and placed one on his knee, and gave it a small squeeze.

“I’m only going to ask this once Robert. I need to know.” He nodded. “Are you absolutely sure that you want Aaron?” A small smile played out over Robert’s lips.

“Yeah, I’m sure. He is too good for me, and I only want him to be happy. I don’t know why, but I seem to make him happy. He’s... the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I know that now. I didn’t always know that, but he makes me want to be better, and lets me be myself.” He swallowed, and wet his lips. “I love him, and I want him.” He smiled, and looked down at Vic. 

She sighed, nodding. “I believe ya, Robert, but it means you have to stop being an idiot. Stop doing things that put your relationship in danger. It feels like you don’t value it. You keep testing to see how far you can go before it breaks. He deserves better than that.” 

“I know he does. I’ve been so focussed on freeing Andy that I didn’t think. I was using Rebecca, wanting to keep her on our side, but I won’t do it anymore. I don’t want it to cost me Aaron. He’s.. everything.” he looked down, guilt crossing his features. “It just went too far, and I hate it.” 

Victoria gently patted his knee, and put her hand back in her pocket. She smiled.

“Well, I'm sure if you explain all that, he'll talk to ya. You two have been through so much, you can survive another White." He smiled without it reaching his eyes. Robert put his arms around Vic, and pulled her close. "I’m… I’m proud of ya, Robert.” 

“Thanks, Vic.” Robert smiled down at her. “I know I’m an idiot, but thanks for listening. I might need your help with something later though, if you can.”

“Call me when and where, of course I’ll help. Smitten kitten.” she smirked at him, and leaned into him once more before heading back into the pub.

Robert remained seated, enjoying the sunlight warming his face with closed eyes, feeling the gravel beneath his feet and the slight breeze in the air. He had to talk to Aaron. He opened his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair before taking his phone out of his pocket. Robert stared at his background photo for a while for a while, a picture of Aaron from their trip to wales, before unlocking his phone and writing a text. He deleted several drafts, an unsettling insecurity taking over, until he decided on a short message.

_I’m sitting at one of the tables outside the pub. Can I come by, so we can talk? Xx_

His put his phone down on the table, wringing his hands while he was waiting for a reply. What would he do if Aaron didn’t want to talk to him? He had to make him talk to him, make him understand that it was different with Aaron, even though it may hurt to tell the truth. His phone vibrated, and he lent over to read the message.

_Yeah. I’m in the back room, alone._

Robert let out a slow breath. He felt his nerves returning to him, his stomach becoming heavy and his legs unstable. He got up, each crunch of gravel beneath his feet counting the steps taken towards the back door of the pub. Hesitating at the door he slowly knocked. Butterflies were churning through him when the door opened, and Aaron gestured for him to come in. 

The living room and kitchen looked precisely as they had yesterday, and yet to Robert walking in felt different. He was visiting, as if this wasn't his home when Aaron was mad at him. Aaron was wearing his signature black hoodie that Robert loved, and dark grey jeans. He looked tired, even more so than at the graveyard, bags forming under his puffy eyes. Without saying a word, they walked over to the dining room table, and sat down. 

Silence pervaded through the pub. Robert didn't know where to start. “D’you want anything?” Aaron asked, speaking for the first time. His hands were tugging at his sleeves under the table, something Aaron did whenver he was sad. 

Robert shook his head. “No, I… I want to talk.” He set his hands on the table, and felt for his engagement ring. "..about yesterday."

“Right. Then, talk.” Aaron said, looking down at the ring Robert was fingering.

Robert cleared his throat, and tried to remember all the things he wanted to get out, to show Aaron what he wanted. He looked down at the ring on his finger, and started fighting.

“I know I messed up.” he sighed and looked up at Aaron. “I should never have let her get that close to me. I’ve always been a manipulator, and a flirt, and I used that to try to get her to work with us to free Andy. When she… kissed me, I thought that I would ruin that if I just pushed her away. So… I let it continue, for longer than I should. I didn’t stop her immediately, and I hate that.” he swallowed. “But… the weird thing was, I used to love the thrill of doing something I shouldn’t. I never had a problem doing it to Chrissie, as you know. I didn’t care whether it hurt my relationship or my partner, because the relationships I had were never that important to me. When Rebecca kissed me, I felt like that person again. For a brief second, it was thrilling and new and different.” Robert’s throat was getting dry, and he knew that this was hurting Aaron. He could see the anger and hurt in his face as Aaron watched him talk, but he needed to get the truth out. 

“Why are you telling me this?” Aaron asked, his voice strained.

“You let me be me. You’ve seen the worst parts of me, and this is one of those parts. Please, let me get this out…” he paused, and collected his thoughts. “That was when the weirdest thing happened. It’s like something clicked in my head. I thought of everything I’d lose, everything that you’ve given me. And I didn’t want her anymore. I didn’t want to kiss her, I didn’t want to hurt you, I didn’t want to lose you, and it felt wrong. So I pushed her away. You mean too much for me to give up for whatever that was. The point is, it felt wrong for me to be kissing someone who wasn’t you.” 

Their eyes met, and Robert saw a tear spill over Aaron’s cheek. He bit his lower lip, and Robert reached out for his hand instinctively. He wanted desperately to comfort him, to take his pain away, but Aaron didn’t move.

“I… I never told you why I decided to propose.” Aaron stared at Roberts hand on the table, not wanting to hold it, but not wanting him to take it back.

“I guess you didn’t.” 

“When you mentioned me staying around ‘till I’m 80, I freaked. I’ve been in relationships before without wanting to commit, but where marriage was a tool to get something I wanted. But I realised that with you, I want it all. I couldn’t imagine a future without you in it. I’ve never felt that before." He paused, and looked down at the ring on his finger. "I bought the rings the following day.”

More tears spilled over Aaron’s cheeks, but they didn’t seem angry. His eyes were gleaming, the sadness slowly evaporating.

“I’m not usually this soft, but… I need you to know how much you mean to me. I want you. I need you in my life. I’ve felt more in love in the past few months than I ever have before. You are the right person for me.” 

At this, Aaron finally slid his hand over to Robert’s, placing it on top of his, and squeezing. Robert squeezed back, and smiled at Aaron from across the table. 

“I haven’t forgiven you yet, you know.” Aaron said, wiping his eyes on his other sleeve.

“I know. At least you’re talking to me, looking at me.” Robert swallowed. “Touching me.” Robert felt a deep need to touch Aaron, comfort him, kiss him. It had only been a day, but he missed him.

“Rob, I can’t…” Aaron pulled his hand back, clasping it in his other hand. “I can’t stop imagining the two of you doing all sorts. I hate it.”

“It would never have gone there yesterday, I swear.” he insisted, his voice imploring.

“You’ve been there before with her, who’s to say you won’t go back?” Aaron whispered.

“She’s not the right person for me, you are. I won’t go back to her. I want you.” Robert tried to emphasise the last word, wishing Aaron would believe him.

“You say that now, but… I need more time Robert.” 

“That’s fine. I don’t want to push it.” he touched the ring on his hand, as if it were an invisible tether between them, a constant reminder of what they had. “Just… you know.” Robert looked Aaron in the eye, and when Aaron nodded, he smiled. 

“Can I grab some clothes before I go?” 

Aaron nodded again, and Robert got up and trudged up the stairs. Five minutes later he came down with a small bag containing a change of clothes, his toothbrush and other essentials. 

“Right. I’ll be off. Will be staying at Keepers if you want to talk.” Aaron was still sitting at the table, his back to Robert. He checked the room to see if he had missed anything, longing to stay, but knowing he couldn’t. “Call me? I know you need time...” he lingered on the last word, hoping Aaron would give any indication of a time frame.

“Yeah... I will.” Aaron turned around and looked up at him.

Robert waited for a beat before he made for the door. He heard the chair scrape as Aaron got up. “Wait.” Robert turned around and watched as Aaron walked over and reached out for Robert’s hand. Robert set the bag down. He could sense Aaron hesitating, and searched his face for some indication of what was going through his head. 

“What is it?” Robert asked tentatively. 

“I just… the thought of her being the last person you…” Aaron’s eyes slowly flickered down to Robert’s lips, before he gently leaned in and kissed him. Robert felt his whole body react immediately, his lips molding to Aaron’s, his hands moving to hold Aaron’s waist, and his body pressing closer. It was a tender kiss, one of love and caring, and Robert tried to convey all his love for Aaron in their gentle touch. He couldn’t help thinking that this was the way a kiss was supposed to feel, butterflies and calm at the same time, happiness and excitement all in one.

The kiss ended and Aaron pulled his head back slightly, looking Robert in the eye with a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. His hands were rested on Robert’s arms, and he was absentmindedly stroking Robert’s arm gently. Robert felt himself smile, the first genuine smile all day, and pressed their foreheads together.

“I know I’m not forgiven Aaron, but I want to make this better. I will.” Aaron could feel Roberts breath on his face. He had missed this.

“Give me some time.” He whispered before he cleared his throat. “Right… you should get going. I need to go back to the scrapyard, get some work done.” Aaron stepped back. “I’ll call ya.” 

“Well, you know where I am and you have my number. ” he looked at Aaron’s face and didn’t see the anger that dominated earlier. “Just.. let me know.”

“Yeah.” Aaron said. “I will.” 

Robert briefly touched his arm, before heading out of the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic includes two conversations I wish Emmerdale would have. I might have gone overboard on the fluff, but I feel like we never get it on the show. This is my take on what a proper reconciliation would look like, and I hope you enjoy it :) I can't decide whether I should just stop here, or go full on fluff for the final chapter. Let me know if you have any opinion on the subject!  
> Please leave kudos and comments if you feel like it, I can't believe so many people have read this now Thank you all!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to write some fluff, so here it is! The rating has also changed for reasons that will become clear in this chapter. I just wrote this, and it hasn't been edited. Be kind ^_^

The sun was almost setting when Robert walked through town to Keeper's Cottage. Realising he hadn’t eaten all day, he stopped by the shop and got himself a sandwich, humus and coriander, and a bottle of whiskey. The thought of spending another night alone in Vic’s empty house was making Robert sullen. He was going to need the help, even though his body was still feeling the effects of yesterday’s indulgence.

Entering Keepers, he found the emptiness of the house pressing. He had gotten used to Liv’s loud music, the clinking of glasses from the pub and the faint mutter of conversations taking place there. The cottage seemed the embodiment of silence, and it was almost crushing. Robert hated it, but resigned himself to another night alone in Keeper’s. Throwing his jacket over the back of a chair, he sat down on the couch to eat his sandwich and drink his whiskey.

The first glass went down smoothly, taking away the remaining symptoms of his hangover. It soothed his mind and his headache, and gave a warmth to his stomach that resembled food. Robert didn’t feel like eating - even his favourite sandwich couldn’t get the nervous roiling in his stomach to settle. Instead he went upstairs, and took a shower. He could smell the alcohol on himself, and felt the grit of the last two days on him. The shower was quick, a short interlude between consumption of alcohol that only made him want the whiskey more. The hot water streaming down his body brought him back to his current reality, and left him to his thoughts, and to his guilt. Glad for his change of clothes, he quickly got out of the shower, drying himself on the towel he found earlier that day. It was still damp, and made him shiver. He couldn’t help feel like it was karma, the universe punishing him for being a manipulative bastard. _This manipulation and scheming has got to end_.

He made it downstairs again, clean and feeling a little better with the change of clothes.  He eyed his sandwich, not in the mood for solids instead returning to the bottle of whiskey. He sat down on the couch with a book he had found in Vic’s room, and he had just poured himself another glass when he heard footsteps leading up to the door. Robert remained seated, assuming it to be Vic, but the tentative knock on the door made him reconsider. He set his glass of whiskey down on the table, and walked to the door. Cold air rushed in as soon as he pulled the door back, but it was the sight of Aaron that really took his breath away. He had his hands in his pockets, and the hood of his jacket pulled up over his head, but there was no mistaking him for anyone else.

“Hi.” Aaron stood like a pillar on the other side of the door, but his gaze flickered up to Robert’s eyes, doubt clear on his face.

“Hi.” Robert replied, unsure of what to do or say. “What’re you doing here?”

Aaron looked up, and bit his lower lip. “I wanted to see ya.”

“Right.” Robert’s surprise made his mind blank. He moved back and made space for Aaron to come in. Aaron nodded, and walked passed him into the living room.

“Big night planned?” Aaron smirked at him, looking at the untouched sandwich and glass of whiskey sitting on the table.

“Thought food might be a good idea. Also whiskey.” Robert replied, leaning against the doorway. “You want a glass?” he offered, not knowing what else to do.

“Yeah.” Aaron looked at him, and Robert couldn’t help but be reminded of Aaron offering him a glass of whiskey six months earlier.

Robert walked into the kitchen to get a glass, and heard Aaron following him. He took his jacket off, and placed it on a kitchen chair.

“Look, Robert…” he started, but stopped when Robert turned around to meet his eye.

“Yeah?” Robert looked at Aaron nervously, his eyes looking over Aaron’s face, taking in every detail.

"I love ya, and I still want to marry ya.. I just can't get the image of you two out of my head." He ran his hand over his face, and Robert looked down at the floor.

"Aaron, I don't know what to do to make it up to ya. She does nothing for me anymore, I felt nothing. When you kiss me, it's the opposite. My toes curl, and my stomach drops, you make me feel  _so much._ " Robert swallowed, and took a glass down from the cabinet."I'll stop everything, I don't want to be the person who throws away the best thing that's ever happened to him... I'll find another way to clear Andy." Robert looked at Aaron, who sighed, but gave a short nod. 

“Look, I can’t stand the thought of you and Rebecca.  I … I need to know that you’ll stop talking to her.” Aaron sat down at the table, and put his hands in his lap.

“I will, I won't see her again, if that's what you want. I don’t want her. I want you. She’s nothing to me, and I used her. I don’t want her, I swear…” Robert had more to say, but was prevented by Aaron getting up and rushing over to him, pressing his mouth to Robert’s.

It was sweet at first, Robert’s hands around Aaron’s waist, and Aaron’s hands resting on Robert’s cheeks, but it quickly became hungry. Their kisses deepened, Robert melting beneath Aaron’s lips. Robert felt Aaron’s mouth open, and gently bit his lower lip, eliciting a moan. Aaron pulled away, and Robert could see his eyes were dark with lust. With a look at Robert’s lips, Aaron smashed their mouths together, touching his tongue to Robert’s. Robert felt his toes curl, and he pulled at Aaron with his hands, feeling a hand in his hair as his head was tilted to one side for better access. Their tongues met, sending a shiver down Robert's spine, as they licked into each other.

When Aaron started kissing Robert’s neck, Robert pushed him back a bit, looking him in the eyes.

“Aaron…” his voice was thick with want, “I love you, but I don’t want this unless you’re sure you can forgive me.”

Aaron stroked Robert’s cheek, and kissed it.

“I love you, Robert. I can see you changing for me. The old Robert would never have told me as soon as it happened, and I know that took a lot from you. If you say you don't want her, then I believe ya, and these past couple of minutes definitely proves you want me.” He looked down suggestively, and Robert smiled. “I forgive ya, and I believe ya.” He looked him in the eye, and Robert’s heart skipped a beat.

“In that case then…” Robert trailed off, as he pulled Aaron back to him, setting his mouth on his in a languid kiss. No longer a battle, it became soft and hopeful, lips and tongues giving as much as they could. Robert was already feeling the effects of Aaron’s kisses, and having Aaron this close, he could feel the effect it was having on him as well. Aaron leaned into it, and moved his hands to the hem of Robert’s shirt.

“Aaron… I don’t have anything.” Robert stopped him before they reached a point where they couldn't stop.

“Good thing I brought.” Aaron bit his lip and smiled.

“You what?” Robert’s eyebrows shot up, as Aaron eyed his jacket.

“I knew that I wanted ya, and I thought we might need it.” Aaron pressed a quick kiss to Robert’s lips and smirked. “Besides…" Aaron leaned in to whisper in Robert's ear, "over here we can be as loud as we want.” Robert felt a tug in his stomach, as he flipped them and pressed Aaron up against the kitchen counter. Placing a hand on either side of Aaron’s face, he kissed him deeply, holding him close and pressing his hips against his. Their passionate kisses became needy, and Robert proceeded to kiss his way down Aaron’s neck, biting when he reached his shoulder, and Aaron gave a moan. He pulled Robert’s face up and kissed him with a passion. Their breathing became heavy, and Robert could feel Aaron’s erection against his own.

Robert pulled away briefly to mutter two words that made Aaron’s smile grow big.

“Upstairs. Now.”

Aaron pulled at Robert’s hand, and they ran upstairs together  
  


           ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

As soon as they entered Robert’s small room, Aaron pressed him up against the door and pressed his hips against Robert’s. Their tongues came together in an open mouthed kiss that drew a moan, but Robert no longer knew from whom. Aaron kissed down Robert’s neck as he moved his fingers down Robert’s chest and started unbuttoning his shirt.

“Aaron…” Robert’s head fell back on the door and his voice was hoarse with want, “Fuck.”

Aaron pushed Robert’s shirt over his shoulders and ran his hands up and down Robert’s body. Robert saw the lust in his eyes, and felt Aaron’s gaze wander up and down his chest while his hands pressed against him.

“I want you so much.”

“I noticed.” Aaron looked down and smirked, and gave Robert a passionate but short kiss. “What do you..” but before he could finish, Robert led his hand down to Aaron’s ass and squeezed.

“I want you…” He pulled Aaron’s hips in between his thighs suggestively, “inside me.”

Aaron swallowed, and nodded, “I was hoping you’d say that.”

Robert pushed Aaron back onto the bed before undressing him. As soon as Aaron’s t-shirt had come off, Robert started kissing and biting and licking Aaron’s chest, before Aaron pulled him up so they were lying against each other. Aaron turned Robert over and pressed himself against him, taking charge.

“No one does this to you, but me.” Aaron whispered in Robert’s ear, and Robert shivered, his body anticipating the pleasure to come. Aaron didn’t take charge like this often, but when he did, it made Robert’s toes curl.

They had needed it. The lust and want flowed through them, expressed in every touch, every caress, in the way Robert’s hands held onto Aaron’s face as they kissed, and in the way they gave every part of themselves to each other. Robert had felt his need for Aaron in his bones, and had held onto Aaron’s back as Aaron entered him. Aaron pressed himself into Robert gently, at first, but the rhythm had increased as their breaths became laboured, and on that small bed in Robert’s old room, the hole in Robert’s stomach finally disappeared as he came with Aaron.

Aaron lay with his head on Robert’s chest and caressed his stomach, while Robert was stroking Aaron’s hair. The silence that Robert had found to be crushing was now pleasant, and they were allowed to lie in their own bubble, enjoying the feeling of holding each other.

“You know,” Robert said as he kissed Aaron’s temple, “man or woman, I’ve never felt what I have when I'm with you…”

Aaron looked up and smiled at him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” They pressed their lips together, before lying back down on the bed.

“Glad it was a good idea for me to remind you what Rebecca can’t give ya.” Aaron smiled into Robert’s chest.

“There was no need, I already know what she can’t give me. I appreciate the effort - you definitely proved your point!” Robert’s hand came to rest of Aaron’s shoulder and he gave it a squeeze. “Besides, no matter what you do, it will always be miles above anything I’ve ever felt or want to have with anyone else… I love you, Aaron.”

“I love you too, you muppet.” Aaron looked up, and bit his lip. Robert’s breath hitched.

“Aaron, you know what that does to me…”

“Yeah?” he grinned, and did it again. “Think I might need a reminder…”

Robert kissed him, pressing their naked bodies together, and relishing in the feeling of Aaron pressed against him. The kisses were languid, until they weren’t. Robert could feel them both hardening again, and it was his turn to look down at Aaron’s hips suggestively.

“Round two?” he murmured against Aaron’s throat. He felt Aaron nod, and immediately placed himself between Aaron’s legs. “My turn...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a short epilogue to go :) hope you enjoyed the fluff, thank you for reading this far <3 Thanks to everyone who has given me kudos and who has commented. I love you all!

**Author's Note:**

> Don't be too hard on me, it's my first fic. Leave comments and kudos and whatnot.


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